Unfortunately, many elderly people wait until they are already experiencing problems to meet with a Houston elder law attorney. The reason this is so tragic is because by then it may be too late to put a plan in place that would help them as they go through the difficult stages of life they will soon experience. Without a plan in place, the family’s life can hit a tailspin when the elderly parent is diagnosed with a serious medical issue. The adult children suddenly become caregivers which can wreak havoc on their own family and the elderly person can be facing sudden changes in living arrangements and everything else they know.
At our offices, we have seen many situations where the family waited too long to get our help. We find that the reasons given for waiting so long vary a bit, but here are a few that are very common.
A slow decline becomes an instant problem.
It is not unusual for older people to become forgetful; they say it is a normal part of aging. It is easy to overlook some of the benign behavior like forgetting birthdays and missing appointments. But, many families do not realize the extent of the elder’s problem until something major happens – like they struggle to find their way home or they forget to turn off the stove. If you see signs of memory problems in your parents, take them to their doctor for a full medical evaluation and get them to a qualified elder law attorney in Houston. The attorney can only help you if the elder is capable of legally signing documents.
The elder fears losing control.
It is really hard to modify the parent-child dynamic. Even as an adult, your parents may still see you as their child who needs them. Other times, it can be difficult for formally independent people to ask for help – especially from their kids. The best way I have found to help here is to simply explain to them that by planning their future now, they are actually staying in control of their future. Planning now means they get to pick their living arrangements, the type of medical care they would like and even the type of intervention they would want at the end. There is really no better way to stay in control of your destiny!
They want to keep their private information private.
Many elderly individuals tend to be very private about their finances. Discussing money with children can be an uncomfortable topic as many in their generation found it improper. Or, they may be embarrassed that their financial situation is not what they wanted it to be. Either way, this is a barrier I encourage you to get past. Not having access to financial information is a great deal of stress on adult children who are suddenly left with incapacitated parents. One way I have worked through this with families is to let the elder know that they can work with a qualified elder law attorney who will keep their information confidential until such time as it is necessary for their designated representative (it may or may not be their child) needs it.
Breaking though these challenges can be very difficult on your own. Our Houston elder attorneys have experience discussing these and other uncomfortable topics and have a great track record of putting families at ease. Do your parents a favor and encourage them to get started. Planning early will give them the opportunity to make their own decisions about the future of their finances. Give us a call today at (281) 885-8826.
Kimberly Hegwood is the Managing Attorney of Your Legacy Legal Care, a Houston estate planning law firm. With more than 25 years of experience practicing law in Texas, she represents clients in a wide range of legal matters, including elder law, asset protection, estate planning, Medicaid crisis planning, probate, guardianship, and other estate planning practice areas.
Kimberly received her Juris Doctor from the South Texas College of Law and is a member of the State Bar of Texas.
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